Notes and etceteras
We had to make up for a pretty long stretch of time in the last blog post, and consequently we missed a lot of little things. So I’ve decided to provide a quick bullet point list of some of the highlights and better details. Here goes:
-The campground we stayed at on the first night in Yellowstone charged us to take a shower. It was $3.50. Each.
-Elliot had a profound experience while we were in the woods: shitting in a hole in the ground while scared to death of bear attacks, with toilet paper in one hand and bear mace in the other, while it was raining. He really had to evaluate what place he was at in his life.
-Direct quote from me: “Let’s splurge a little tonight and stay at a Holiday Inn”. This would be funnier if I wasn’t serious at the time… no, that makes it even funnier. This is a testament to our hobo lifestyle.
-The York Hotel where scenes of the movie “Vertigo” were filmed is being renamed “The Vertigo Hotel”, to join the ranks of Fisherman’s wharf and chowder in a bread bowl as the biggest touristy wastes of time in San Francisco. Sad. But hey, I guess that’s progress.
-We had been in San Francisco for less than 10 minutes when a bird took an enormous shit on my windshield, about one inch out of reach of the wiper blades… it was that kind of morning.
-We didn’t realize that the Gumball 3000 (see here for explanation http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gumball_3000#2008) was going to be in San Francisco when we arrived. We traded in bikers for douche bags in gaudy Ferraris with gonorrhea infested my size Barbies on the hood. We got a raw deal on that one.
-The Monterey Bay Aquarium is a pretty amazing place (one of my favorites so far). The aquarium is on “Cannery Row”, the same one of John Steinbeck fame. The building that used to be the sardine packing plant is now a strip mall (insert pithy remark), complete with Reebok factory outlet store, McDonalds, and a place called “First Awakenings” where we ate breakfast. Much to my dismay, Rachel Ray’s photo hung behind the counter with a note marking this place as one of her “$40 a day” selections (bitch doesn’t tip, that’s how she affords to eat at these places. I’m living on $15/day, I do tip. This was the only meal I could afford that day. And I even went over budget.) First Awakenings also employed one of the biggest douches I have ever seen, in the form of some nauseously cheery blond High Schooler in a blue Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts. His constant shit eating grin made me want to punch him in the face, but his complete job satisfaction in this shit hole is what made me hate him. When Elliot asked to throw away a piece of paper behind the counter and his reply was “Let’s see if you can make it from there, slugger” (ok, I added the word “slugger”) this was just beating a dead horse. I guess I was still stuck in the mode of thinking that Cannery Row was the setting for one of America’s great novels, or at least a novel by one of its great classic novelists. Instead I found the same shit that everything everywhere is turning into (Buy N’ Large, WALL-E you were right!) and maybe the biggest surprise was that I was surprised about the whole thing. But hey, I guess that’s progress…
-Direct quote from Elliot in San Francisco: “This place is so… gay…” To be fair, we were in Castro at the time, the gay district of San Francisco, and there were enormous rainbow flags everywhere. We both liked the city as a whole, and the gay comment wasn’t a reflection on the city in any way other than the represented sexual preferences of its people. But yeah, in that way, it was pretty gay.
-I saw Rodin’s “The Thinker” and decided it was a piece of shit. Rodin isn’t even a very good sculptor (if you want my detailed explanation why, ask me). This is one of the most famous sculptures of all time and I thought it sucked. Famous art does not equal good art. Although the Frida Kahlo exhibit we saw the next day was pretty amazing.
-Hannah Choe was a wonderful host. She showed us around and with the exception of a few restaurants being closed and the Egyptian Museum (which was Lonely Planet’s idea anyway) we had a great time. Also, thanks to Yong for letting us crash at his place.
That’s the end of that chapter.
-jason.
(Next will be new material including the most depressing blog post yet)
